Lost / Found Podcast with Dr. Michelle Choi
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March 28, 2024

Ep. 113: First 2 Chapters of Untangling

Hello friends! For this episode I’m going to share the first two chapters of my upcoming book Untangling: Liberating Myself from an Enmeshed Family and Impossible Medical Career. 

It’s really been a long ass journey, but I’m still standing! And I’m super excited that this book is close! And if you’re enjoying the podcast, don’t forget to rate the podcast, however you get your podcasts!

I had been working as a doctor for almost 15 years when I had a full blown midlife crisis. I was supposed to have reached the promise land of success, and yet I found myself so unhappy, angry, and becoming someone that I was not. And then I threw it all away to become a podcaster. It was during this time that I thought about the reoccurring pattern in my life. I was enmeshed. At my corporate medicine job, I smiled, never complained about the increasingly impossible workload, didn’t cause any problems, and was becoming the kind of doctor I never wanted to be. 

But my enmeshment didn’t start at work, I also had been enmeshed with my family of origin. Enmeshment happens when parents are unable to see their children as separate entities, when being “too close” can lead to a form of trauma. So much of my energy as a child was spent on making my dysfunctional parents feel better, being the only friend to my mentally struggling mother. I became a doctor for their approval! And for too long, I did not have a strong sense of who I was. 

And well, like Humpty Dumpty on the wall, I fell hard but I decided to look at all the pieces.

Lost / Found Podcast with Dr. Michelle Choi
Lost or Found
Ep. 113: First 2 Chapters of Untangling